Just popping in to say I’m here and I’m still sober. I know I wonder when people just drop off the blogosphere and never return again!
Life is beautiful. Not easy, at least not all the time, but staying sober IS pretty easy these days. And that is a huge gift. A miracle, even.
The things I struggle with these days are relationships, feelings, and navigating the two. Sometimes I think, wtf, I never had problems with friendships before I got sober! This is bullshit! But when I’m honest I can see that I just wasn’t present enough/didn’t care enough to notice back then. So this, too, is a gift. The work. The growth. The staying through the hard.
I really thought life would be boring once I got sober, but it is anything but. My life is so, so full these days. It feels too full, at times. I get resentful at all the things I “have” to do until I remember that I signed up for these things. I’m busy because I have a full life, and it is full of things I chose for myself. I recently took a pottery class. I joined a group whose main purpose is to foster female friendships. I generally travel somewhere about once a month. My work keeps me busy because it is thriving. I have sponsees and other women who reach out to me when they’re struggling and I get to be there to listen or give advice. I share my life with 2 beautiful dogs who I adore more than words can express. I have a partner who loves me. I work out, I go to meetings, I continue to do therapy. I get invited to wedding and baby showers because I HAVE FRIENDS.
We really are the luckiest. I know sobriety doesn’t always look this way for everyone ,and it is not lost on me how much I have to be grateful for. I don’t always feel grateful and I don’t always want to do the things I’ve signed up for. But overall, I know that I am living a golden moment in my life. And I don’t want to miss it.
“Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends – this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it.” -Alcoholics Anonymous, p89