Day 332

  I sometimes get the urge to just delete this blog. I don’t know what I want from it, really. Clearly I don’t come here that often! I do a lot more reading of blogs than of writing, both sobriety related and not. Blogs are one of my favorite mediums, and I’ve been an avid […]

Day 205, Looking Back

In my last post, I talked about working on the 4th and 5th steps. Since then I’ve finished my 5th step. Though I found the first section on resentments to be cathartic and refreshing, the sex & harms section was a different story. I was surprised again, this time at the shame and sadness I […]

Day 185/6 Months

Today  marks 6 months of sobriety from alcohol and pot. It also happens to be my seven-year anniversary with my boyfriend, which is…holy shit. I want to say things have been good lately, but I guess a more true statement is they’ve been up and down. Around month 5 I hit a rough spot and started having […]

Day 139

Hi! I’m still here. I’m still sober. Last week I graduated from my IOP/SOP program. Of all the people that came into my process group while I was there, only 1 other person ever finished, and that was a few weeks after I started. That was really hard for me. Most people just vanished without […]

Day 86

Devastation. Shock. Heartbreak. Disbelief. Anger. Underneath it all, fear. On November 8th, 2016, the unthinkable happened in the US. I didn’t want to be sober while it was happening, while at the same time recognizing with gratitude how much more difficult and painful it would have been while drinking. I stayed sober. I’m so glad. I […]

Day 79

Trying to remember love and compassion lately. I know logically that behind most poor behavior and Things that Really Piss Me Off are someone else’s very real problems that I know nothing about. A few women at work that I often think of as “evil” and “the worst people ever” are the way they are because of […]

Day 76 – Notes from an AA Convert

The topic of my Sunday morning meeting today was Service, and it allowed me to reflect upon and acknowledge all the service I’ve received since I became a part of the program. And what I really wanted to come here to record, for myself and others, is the amazing community I’ve found in AA. As I’ve […]

Day 74

I went to a luncheon today for the Houston Council on Recovery. That’s where I’m doing IOP and another group member had an extra ticket and invited me to go. As I was driving there I reflected on something. The other day on the Shair podcast they were talking about how there are a lot […]

Day 60

Honestly, I was getting close to ‘fuck it’ today. I just felt sick of all this recovery stuff. At a meeting last night I was so irritated by all the Recovery Words everyone has to insert into every thought. The thought of the recovery podcasts I used to enjoy is just like, ugh. Do I […]